Angus the ___ Dog

The CraxSkitty is greedy.

I would never do anything like that.

There was a lot of stuff going on outside that I did NOT want to be a part of. There was a hose, and even thought I’m a water dog, I don’t like it. And the Boy might be a jackass. And spray me with the hose.

The Girl let me back in the house, and out in the back yard where I played with my football. Until she turned on the hose to water the vegetables, whatever that means. I do not like the hose. She’s a jackass, too.

The peoples is so borings.

They spend all their time doing things for something, and just say I’m going going to be a ring bear in a few weeks, but don’t tell me what that means, and say I need to find something to wear.

I’m a dog. I wear: scarfs and collars. That’s it. I’s gonna wear a scarf or a collar, maybe both. My decision. What I gots is fine: I can’t tell if it matches anything or everthing: I can’t tell colors so well. Done. Maybe now they’ll have time to play with me more?

I like the yard.

The boy and the girl and her dad and his bitch and her daughter made dinner and I helped. The oven is at nose-level, so I watched the turkey to make sure it didn’t burn. I watched it real hard, and it never burned.

The peoples is packing up my shit, and they say we’re heading to Tennessee! I don’t know what that means, but I know it has a carride! And there’s going to be a kitty that doesn’t like me when we get there. But that’s ok. The girl’s stepmom likes me bunches and bunches and makes me worried that she might take me.

Someone on the tvees was talking about “Crax Parachutists.” Don’t they know that the Crax doesn’t parachute, she only climbs walls?

I found another dog outside last night. I was barking at the front door and teh boy was getting mad at me for barking because it was late. But then he went to throw some trash out and saw what I was barking at. Seriously, he should listen to me more because I knows what I’m barking about.

She was a labby mix dog and was really hiper. Teh boy and teh girl gave her some water and tried to find her home. She had a collar and a tag. I found out something really important last night. If I get lost after 6pm, I’m pretty much screwed until the morning because there is no way to look up those tags on-line.

Anyway, teh girl called the vet’s office that was listed on the tag. Teh boy, me, and teh other labby dog played football in the back yar. It was after midnight but it was a bunch of fun. Teh boy and teh girl left the other dog outside when we wents to bed, but that other dog just kept complaining. Teh boy finally made a place in the basement then we slept in teh basement with teh other dog.

Teh other dog would not sleep though. She kept getting up, making noise, and trying to get in teh boy’s face. I can tell you, he likes his sleepins almost as much as I do and he’s not all that nice when he gets woked up. Early this morning tey boy finally kicked teh other dog back outside into back yard and we went to bed for real.

Teh girl got a call from the owners of teh other dog this morning and they came and got her. And you’ll never believe this; they didn’t even know their dog was missing! I think we should have just kept her because she was fun and liked to play football like I do.

I almost forgot that it was Mom’s Day. So I’d just like to take this opportunity to say “hi” to all my bitches. I mean, Mom’s my #1 bitch, but The Girl’s really my main bitch. She’s awesome and remembers to feed me.

This diet wasn’t so fun so far. It sucks. I want more foods. I don’t get enough bacon, I don’t get enough cheese… I don’t get enough cheesy bacon.

But it’s totally working. The boy was feeling my sides and thought I had bumps on me, but it was just my ribs. I’s getting so skinny. I’m gonna look sooo good in my tux for the wedding.